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This is a simple (but often overlooked!) change that people can make. Our first tip is to ensure that you never ask a trans or non-binary person what their “real”, or deadname, is – and especially don’t use their deadname if you know it. Additionally, if you know they are out to others, it’s great to encourage them to use the appropriate pronouns as well. It’s also important to remember that pronouns are for everybody and not just trans and non-binary people! By introducing yourself with your own pronouns, you are already creating a more secure and safe environment where everybody can feel comfortable to share their personal pronouns and names.
This is a big one. To put it bluntly, a trans or non-binary person is an expert on their own experiences. We need to listen and trust them to know what they’re talking about when it comes to their own gender. If someone is exploring or questioning their gender identity, being patient with them is key as there is no one ‘right way’ to be a trans and everybody’s experience is different in one way or another. It’s important to note here that avoiding assumptions is another huge must, and recognising that trans and non-binary people exist means not assuming that everyone you meet identifies as male or female.
We may not have realised it yet, but many phrases we commonly use these days are unnecessarily gendered and fail to include people who fall out of the gender binary. To build a culture that is inclusive of all genders, avoid using wording such as “ladies and gentlemen” or “men and women” when addressing a group. Additionally, challenging transphobic jokes or language is something that people need to be called out on. If you happen to hear someone misgendering a trans or non-binary person, correct them and make sure they know what the right words to use are.
This could be something that a lot of people forget about, but it’s crucial to remember that going to a gendered bathroom can be a particularly difficult and unsafe experience for trans or non-binary people. Supporting and advocating for gender-neutral bathrooms is a great way to be an ally in this case. Gender-neutral bathrooms can be a safer option for trans people who are afraid of experiencing transphobia in binary bathrooms; they are also inclusive of non-binary people!
This goes without saying, but the more we know about the transgender community and their experiences, the better! So, instead of asking a trans or non-binary person questions that may be too personal or invasive, there are plenty of ways to educate yourself. Do your research about the issues that trans people face, and the history of trans identities across the world. Trans people have always existed, and this is by no means a new ‘phenomenon’. Most of us have been brought up in a certain way that favours stereotypical gender norms. Being an ally to trans and non-binary people means questioning and unlearning these ideas, as well as importantly being open to new ways of understanding gender. The bottom line is that we all need to appreciate gender diversity. Whether it’s through news articles, books, podcasts, or simply social media channels, the first step to becoming an ally to the transgender community is making sure you’re in the know!